


Grave-Sights

by Pandagirl23



Series: Enass-AU [18]
Category: Captain America - All Media Types, Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Awkward Conversations, Bucky Barnes Feels, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Bucky Barnes Recovering, Bucky Barnes Remembers, Bucky Barnes asking forgiveness, Bucky Barnes trying figure out feelings, Flowers, M/M, Maria Stark is not Tony's mom, Post-Canon, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Pre-Relationship, Slow Burn, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Still Has Arc Reactor, glacier paced slow burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-30
Updated: 2020-12-30
Packaged: 2021-03-11 02:46:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,657
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28437849
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pandagirl23/pseuds/Pandagirl23
Summary: James goes to the cemetery that Starks was buried at, been buried at for almost twenty plus years. He had a couple of months… to deal with the guilt and grief of what was made to do.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes & Tony Stark, James "Bucky" Barnes/Tony Stark
Series: Enass-AU [18]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2017507
Kudos: 18





	Grave-Sights

**Author's Note:**

> More Tony and Bucky bonding kind of. More than likely they sit quietly saying a few words without really saying anything. 
> 
> I looked up some traditions and what people do in Italy and Sicily!! Basically, it is good for odd but even is bad when giving flowers. Chrystamums are good flowers during the dead. I double-check like three websites just to be sure. 
> 
> Anyway, enjoy ever slow glacier movement of their relationship from stilted conversations and weird air to... the end.

James stepped off the bus keeping his hood up and eyes cast down. Even though he was pardoned like the others, charges dropped because of brainwashing, a new arm, and help with his shattered mind, he doesn’t feel fully forgiven. He hoped no one here would recognize him, he just recently shaved till stubble.

Here he is at the cemetery, staring at the black metal gates with decorated sigils on the fence. Bright green grasses, evergreen trees standing strong, and polished stones of those passed on. The ex-assassin can see this where the elite of New York are buried and kept at ease. Then again, he is pretty sure half of these people he killed or got killed for doing something they should not have done.

Walking down the brick designed path, he went to the directory looking for S. Scrolling through, Smiths, Samons, Samuels, Sm, Sn, Sp, So, tile he found Stark. Of course, the Starks would be set to the very top of the directory. Finding a plot where Maria Stark, right next to her husband the super-soldier made his way down to the parents of the man who helped him. Even when he should not have to.

Getting closer to the grave, James took in the warm sun but the chill of fall coming in from the North and further eastward.

Bucky knows Steve did not think visiting the long did Starks was not a smart idea or even conducive to his recovery, but he can always refute that being around him was not conducive, being near Stark either can be considered not conducive. He almost thanked Wilson, almost for telling Steve people heal in different ways and cope. Bucky can see it all in them. Except for the tiny firecracker name Anthony.

He wonders what Anthony would say if he saw him coming here to his mother's (aunt’s) grave. Would scorn him, curse his name to hell? He was not sure of any of those options. He hasn’t really run into the genius since the whole Mecha-Saurs call. He didn’t go but he knows that the problem was resolved pretty quickly and that was around 2 or 3 months ago.

Pulling his hand out of his pocket he looked at the minimally damaged flower petals in his hand. He counted to make sure he still an odd amount, call him a little superstitious after he read what to leave on the grave for Maria’s grave. He wasn’t going to carry a whole bouquet of chrysanthemums, he found it not in his right to give her the bouquet. Seeing he had 17 petals in the hand of pure white flowers, the recovery brainwash moved down the path to the long-dead woman.

Taking a deep breath, feeling the taut muscles pulling, and then releasing. The metal arm recalibrating, adjusting along with his body, James stared at the grave with Maria’s name engraved. All it had was the generic Rest in Peace. Wonderful mother and wife. You will be missed. The dates she died and was born. Yet, he was sure the date is wrong for her birth. Versus to the heavily decorated grave of flowers and National colors around Howard Stark. He can see the hate for Howard is for Anthony.

Kneeling in front of her gravestone he works his mouth into saying what he was repeating through the scattered mess he called a mind. Keeping his mouth closed tight, he pushed the hood off his head to get the hair from his face. None to carefully, the metal armed super soldier heaved out a heavy sigh, keeping eyes to his knees.

“I’m sorry. I know… you… were like his mother. And you would… never had been with Howard if… Let… fuck…” Lips twisting into a frustrated scowl, Bucky set down the first flower petal, “I’m sorry you died before you got to see your nephew grow up.”

He put the second flower petal mumbling out not out of fear of people hearing but more so out of shame he starting to feel among guilt building behind the feeling, “I know I can’t… change the past. That I can find you to tell you not to get in that car. Not to step out with Mr. Stark that night.” Putting three more, Barnes continued, “A lot of people say… it was not my fault. I… believe it was. I can be the one to say I fought till the end; it can be true but… I still killed you for something that was not used. I think…” Setting down another three petals feeling his shoulders shake at holding back the building of confusing emotions, anger, disdain, relief, grief, and so many emotions attached to other emotions.

“I think… the shittiest thing about all of this, HYDRA, my ex-handlers, monsters… they didn’t even bother with the other Super Soldiers. I remember fighting them. I remember beating them despite having almost the same serum as Steve. You died for nothing and for no reason. Howard got killed for no reason. It almost as if they knew they would need…” Swallowing back the bile trying to make his way to his throat, Barnes can feel his own face still blanked despite the emotions. His own body was confused. Resting all the petals around the stone, the centurion dug blunted nails into one thigh and metal bruising fingers into his other thigh.

“Only one super soldier that is easily controllable. In a fucked-up way, I was after the fight finally left my body. Maria Stark, I know you may not hear. I don’t know if there is a God for humans, but I hope you are proud of your nephew. I can’t say anything about your sister. I know I can’t. If I can… I can try to… keep an eye for him.” He looked at the empty cemetery. He can see people stop visiting after a while unless you are Howard Stark.

Letting out a dry laugh as hands kept digging into his thighs feeling the fall wind move the petals back and forth but never really going back and forth. If he was a little more insane from 70 years of pain, he would have said that was a sign. “I know, I don’t know him how Rhodey or even anyone else in his family does but… I want to try. At least…” He won’t add because those conflicting feelings turned mushy when thinking about the small feisty male.

Seeing one of the bouquets on Howard’s grave about to fall, Bucky was about to reach for it till a throat-clearing voice of the same man that makes his body go rigid and soft. Anthony, standing there in jeans, dress shoes and a bomber’s jacket with orange sunglasses sitting on his head. His arc reactor is bright but not like his eyes. Blinking at the man standing above while holding the bouquet from Howard’s grave but kneeling in front of Maria’s. Christ on a stick this looks bad, doesn’t it?

“A—Stark.”

“Barnes.” Anthony waved a bouquet of white chrysanthemums between them tilting his head towards the bouquet in his hand, “You can let that fall. Howard won’t give a damn.” He stepped up close to him at the same time James dropped the bouquet watching the man lower into a crouch resting the flowers between the petals. 43 flowers, odd like the flower petals he brought.

“I’m sorry!” He saw Anthony give him a look about to tell him it all fine, but not about Siberia this time or even murdering his parents, “I mean… I don’t think you would have been happy to see me… here. At your Aunt’s… grave… you know… I—”

“I get it,” Anthony responded gently staring at the petals. “Thank you… for… remembering Maria. You got chrysanthemum petals too?”

James heard the surprise through the words under the numbness that seem to come from Anthony. It seems to be one of those things the genius doesn't except to come from others seeming to Remember the woman. The way Anthony says it, he can see that he is stripping her of her title as the wife to Howard Stark, Mrs. Stark, star socialite, murder victim, casualty, unfortunate bystander, a poor immigrant woman.

Instead, he let all of that say with the quietness of the graveyard in front of a woman’s grave.

Three hours passed when the two men walked to the car with 3 or 4 feet apart but James can feel the warmth radiating off the man. Even with the silence between them, he can feel the air was not hostile or entirely numb as it usually was. It is reluctance contentment. A hesitant _I don’t mind you being here and I don’t being near you_. Outside of the lab, the manor, and missions.

Even in the quiet car, the two men let the silence from the cemetery follow them to the manor till they came to the splitting paths at the stairs.

The honey-brown man looked at Barnes tugging on his shirt by a smidgen before forcing his hands to his side. A twitch of need to clench his fist to fight the anxiety. Steel-blue met Anthony's eyes, even though the shifting mechanics of Barnes's arm said he was twitching. Both stared at each other even with Anthony on the first step.

Pushing a curl back behind his ear even with the wild spike bed hair that seems to be his style now and days, Barnes swallowed silently seeing the way the curl still peeked. His weird Russian-Brooklyn drawl bit through the robotic tone that followed him for years.

“See you around… if we cross?”

“Yeah… see you around.” Tony stepped up the stairs, giving Barnes a quick look till he scurries up rest of the stairs to his room.

James stood watching still before turning away to start on his soon to be nightly rituals and avoidance of the others.


End file.
